It is a valuable skill to build rapport with people. People will remember you fondly and like you. You can use your relationship building skills to help you achieve your goals, whether you’re in business, friendship, relationships, sales, or simply want to feel more liked. These skills are used to quickly build rapport with clients in my counseling, coaching and business. Trust and genuine love are the keys to building rapport. Let’s get to work with that knowledge in mind:
- HearListening is an essential skill for building relationships. Everyone loves being listened to. Just think about this. What does it feel like to be ignored or talked over by someone? These people make you feel like they are your friends. NO! No! They are likely to be the ones who are attentive and concerned for your well-being. Listening says, “I’m listening because you, and therefore, what you have to say, are important.”The greatest thing people want is to feel heard. You will be admired and loved by them if you can help them achieve this goal. Put your practice into action “conversational generosity”Do not speak for more than 30% (30-20% are ideal).
- Links InterestsOpposites DON’T Attract!!! Because of their commonalities, people like each other. Find common interests whenever you can and talk about them. You may need to do some research and ask questions in order to uncover their interests. However, they will love that you care enough about them to answer many of your questions. Talk to them about something you are interested in or would like to learn more about. Mark, my boss from the past loves to play golf. Although I’ve never been able to play, I am keen to learn the game. I therefore asked Mark to help me. His enthusiasm at my interest was contagious and he complimented me on his willingness to teach. He also appreciated the value of his suggestions. You can think of other ways to use this tool.
- Ask for Advice Thoreau’s old quote: “The greatest compliment ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to the answer.”A person’s most honest compliment is to ask for his or her advice. Asking for advice requires that you be vulnerable. You will build trust and openness with your partner. It is a common trait that people will be happy to share their knowledge and bring you a sense of joy. Your friends should be the ones you turn to when you need advice. Is it possible for someone to give you guidance and be your friend but not the other way around? You can see how close the two of you are. People admire those who are able to ask for and take advice. It is something that very few people are able to do. You’ll be amazed at the results.
- Compliments & Praise It is not possible. “kissing up”Or being fake – it never works! The goal is to find praise-worthy conversations and then mention it to that person. The next response is a different one. The new friend informs you that they won an award for their efforts in helping children. You say neither. “that’s great!”Oder “Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment! You must have made a tremendous contribution to the lives of those children, you should be very proud.”What would you choose to hear? Both are true. Yes! Can one reply have more effect and make a stronger connection than another? Definitely, yes! It is an excellent way to live.
- Demonstrate Liking & AppreciationIntuitively, most people like those who are like them. People often like one another, but they rarely share their feelings. My friends are always reminded that I love them and value them. I know they do, but it is still great to hear. If I feel like someone I just met I will say the following: “It’s been great getting to know you; I love to meet warm, open people.”” I really liked the way you talked about (BLANK).””Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home. I had a great time today – let’s pick another time to get together soon.”These are only some examples. Are there better examples? This shows friendship and strengthens bonds.
- Adopt their values/beliefsPay attention to other people’s values and beliefs as you listen. Then, discuss the areas that your values and beliefs are in direct conflict with those of theirs. Did you hear me say that speaking 30% to 40% is the best way to communicate? You can take at least 50% of the time to support or agree with your counterpart. It will. NeverMake friends with people you disagree with. Allow points you do not agree with to pass by and let others know when something is agreeable. This will allow you to make friends, as well as subtly promote areas that you support and eliminate those you don’t.
- EnthusiasmCommunication can be described as the transmission of energy/emotion. We all love people who are enthusiastic because it is something we admire and wish we could have more. It is evident that enthusiastic people bring a smile to the room and are a source of positive energy. It is easy to feel valued, accepted and appreciated when people are enthusiastic about your thoughts and ideas. It will not offend to get excited about other people’s ideas.
- Matching and Mirroring – Matching & mirroring simply means that we match the approximate characteristics of the other person to help create alignment with them. If you see them crossing their legs, cross yours shortly afterwards. Slow down your pace if they talk slower than you. It is possible to use their language later on in conversations if they have it. You should be less reserved if they’re reserved. So on. Keep in mind that we are drawn to people like ourselves. It is an unconscious process, which most people don’t realize they are doing. Now you can be conscious of it. Because vocal tone/speed, and body language make up 93% of all communication, it is an extremely powerful tool. You will feel very at ease around this tool, and it is very subtle.
- Smile & WarmthYou are the person who makes first contact with someone. You should be warm, welcoming and cheerful. Your voice will be resonant with a smile and genuine desire to make friends and it will reflect in every activity. Your first impressions can be powerful. Make sure you smile and remember your name. A smile shows you care about the person, and that they are happy for you. Warmth and smiles make people feel better around you.
- Participating in SkillsThis means you pay attention to others. The basic good manners include holding the door, giving someone a drink, or offering to take a seat for them. Also, it includes shaking hands with them when they are present. This category includes almost any act of kindness or small gesture. This simple act of kindness and respect shows that you are valued, respected, and loved. And an action is what? That’s right! It’s true! Thousands words!)