OK. You’ve reached 50 now and are reading everywhere that this is a whole new life stage. You can refer to it as Second Adulthood, Second Act or Bonus Decades. How can we understand all this?
Our grandparents and parents never thought about what their futures might look like as they age. This is the simplest explanation. They grew up and had their children. Maybe they retired. Then, when it was over, they had grandchildren. But, that’s all. They just were. They just did. But the Boomers are not the same as the post-boomers. Your entire life has been spent thinking about yourself and your place in this world. When this growing group of people reaches 90 we may have to come up with new terms, such as Third Adulthood.
This deep thinking is what I am calling adultescence at 40-60 years of age. What’s the reason? The similarities are strong, you will soon discover.
Each half of life has its own goals. The first half of the life is about developing a persona and building an ego. As an adolescent you wanted to be different from the others, but still fit in. It could have been the shortest skirt, the most vibrant chartreuse hair, or the roguest jeans. You want to be an adultescent and have the exact same desires. It could be the best cosmetic surgery, the newest car, or even the top golf courses.
Differentiation is key to adolescence. It allows you to develop your skills and talents so that you are the best you can. People were driven mad by your new passions. Integration is the process of bringing together all of the parts to create a whole. In reality, little has changed. Check out the following list. Some of the Stones have become grayer, and some members of the Beatles are unlikely to reunite.
Teens have never experienced romance. You spend countless hours trying to be beautiful. It is your quest to find the right way to get along with your partner. Your friends and you talk on the phone, exchanging notes. There’s nothing new for adultescents. You’re probably trying to find out what it’s like to suddenly be a married couple after you have been married. A saying my aunt often used was “I married him for good or bad, but not to eat lunch.” You can hang out on your phone, IM or cell phone, comparing notes to your friends, if you suddenly become single. It costs a lot of money to try and look great.
Adolescence’s bodies are constantly changing. Adultescent? You are too. Adultescents can have skin blemishes. Adultescents develop liver spots. Adolescents experience growing pains. The joint pain of adulthood is known as “joint pain”. Both are very conscious of their weight.
The possessions of adolescents often make them famous – their first car or phone, first computer and an ipod. (OK, for some, it was a radio and a typewriter), fashionable clothes. Adultescents can be found busy buying toys such as new cars, Hummers, cell phones, Blackberrys, laptops, and even ipods.
Adolescents are more likely to travel together. Adolescents are convinced they won’t grow up. Are they Adultescents? You don’t have to say anything.
It’s all new again, so you can see. Adolescence was not your last. It’s possible to survive the next stage. This is something you already know. You know what you now, and that is the biggest difference. Don’t regret it – keep moving. Either you will be a totally different person as your second adult or the first, or both.
Have fun!