I have realized how crucial it is for me to be present in the moment and take care of my own health.
A friend of mine was celebrating her 70th Birthday. When I visited her, it was shocking to discover how much weight had she lost in the time since we last met. She’s fine, she eats well and is not hungry.
Full-time carer to her husband, who is suffering from prostate cancer. He has also had a stroke that left him physically disabled. My friend drove fifty miles round-trip each day to see him after he was discharged from hospital.
She eventually put most of her belongings in storage and made necessary modifications to the bungalow. A support system was also set up so that she could take care of her husband at home. She was relieved not to have to travel to the hospital each day but it gave her some relief. It is hard for her to be on-call 24 hours per day, and she misses her husband.
He can’t move on his own and his brain isn’t working well enough. His skin is dry and itchy from the medication, as well as his constant sitting position. My friend is responsible for everything, and she never sits down. Instead of being able socialize and read, or even get on the computer, my friend is now responsible for all things gardening, DIY, cleaning up after cars, etc. My friend is tired.
We visited my in-laws the next day and now things are reversed.
My mother in law is suffering from Alzheimer’s. Although she is mobile, her memory has declined and she no longer eats as much. She is skin and bones. She wears her clothes.
It is all boring to her and she just wants to get out of the house in her car. She is so weak that even the slightest bump can cause her to fall. My father in law has exhausted all options for taking her. Both of them have lived in the same region all their lives, so they’ve been to every place there is to visit locally.
My father-in law was an active man who played three rounds of golf every week. He is now very social and enjoys being with people. His wife is now very distressed when he leaves her view. He does everything and takes over all the housework. The strain is starting to show.
Their marriage has been fifty-six year and they have had enough. They have said every word and my mother-inlaw is unable to focus. It’s like she suddenly feels old and powerless. My father-in law is very tired.
My friend and my father-in law have seen their lives turned around by the good health of their partners. The one has gained weight and is able to relax. One has lost a lot of weight. The other is now more active. Each has lost the chance to socialize.
A sweet, 110-year-old lady, who lives at home in care homes, shared her tips for long life with the nation. It was important to eat healthy, move, and enjoy a glass of wine if you wish, but not too much.
That’s great advice. And exercise is definitely an important aspect. My father-in law is struggling to breathe because he has put the majority of his weight onto his chest. He has been advised by his doctor to reduce sugar, salt, and fat intake and take a walk every day.
But his wife cannot walk, can’t get in a chair, and is too weak to leave him, so any exercise with her would be unlikely. Although he must reduce his calories, he enjoys cooking and is an experienced chef. Because he was taught to improve the flavor of food and to include all things that the doctor suggested, his taste buds have become used to this taste. At eighty-six, he is still pondering whether making this change was worth it. Eating is his only pleasure.
As you age, you will need to consume fewer calories because your muscle mass decreases at a rate of about 1/2 lb each year. You must do something actively to replenish the lost muscle. Too much fat is dangerous, you will be overweight.
You should consider building muscle, as it burns more calories than fat. While reducing the amount of fat, sugar, and salts in processed and packaged foods can help you to lose weight or maintain it, building lean muscle is still important.
The little lady is a good example of the right attitude, i.e. Eat sensibly, exercise. Do not obsess about your weight, unless you feel it is negatively affecting the health of your body.
It is far better to focus on the important things, like living.