The third article of the series will discuss the fourth and fifth attitudes that can make a difference in your life. Respect others’ world view. Attitude 4. Attitude 5: The response that you receive is what defines communication.
Respect other people’s world map
This is a difficult situation for the virgin, so let’s take it off your mind for a second. Consider that a close friend of yours has a “wayward” son. You see a teenager in grubby jeans with a sloppy haircut and colors that make you feel like an alien stylist. You hear your friend complain that the boys are losing their minds and they don’t know what to do to get them back on track. Tell your friend you like him and that you will ‘have another word’ with them to see if they can assist.
The young man is a bit later when you meet him and begin to chat. After expressing his discomfort at first, the lad then opens up more, telling you about his friend, his parents, who is controlling and old-fashioned.
Which one has the correct perception? Is it your friend, the boy, or yourself? That’s right. You all! You have three totally different views of the exact same situation, but they are all right! This perception holds true for the individuals who hold it.
Ask the police. Witnesses are 20 witnesses to the car accident. There are 20 different versions of the exact same incident.
Ah, yes, but different perspectives… Exactly. This is what we see as our reality.
Return to your peer group. Do not make the mistake of believing that your peer group does not accept you. This is your reality. Can you change reality? You can change the way you perceive reality. You don’t have to behave like an Ostrich and hide your head in sand. This works for Ostriches. Have you ever seen Ostriches hit bad drives? You can make a change in your mindset by pretending it is true and then making a change in reality.
Communication is defined by the responses you receive.
Do you ever have those moments when you try to explain something but they just don’t get it. Then you repeat it again. You repeat it again and again. But they don’t seem to get it. Is it you or them? Who is the problem?
It’s me, I’m sure. Their problem isn’t real, and they’re not able to solve it. They don’t have a problem, they just don’t get it (oh!
Communication is not about telling. Although communication involves speaking, it can also involve listening and observation. The receiver must be able to understand the meaning of what you have just explained.
Consider your instructor, for instance. Your golf instructor will explain how to improve your swing and show you the steps. She may also demonstrate it physically, by pushing your hips and widening your stance, straightening your elbow and pushing your hips. Continue this process until you feel that it is becoming easier to show her. This is communication. Your response to communication is what will tell you how much you improve your swing. Communication is not working if you don’t improve.
Everyone has their preferred method of communication. For example, some people prefer pictures. We create images with words as well as our bodies and hands. Some prefer concrete. We need to feel the swing in our bodies and walk through it. Some prefer sounds and will only allow you to talk to them. Other people prefer music to play in the background or for them to move to. While some people love to see what’s possible, others want to be able to identify what needs to be done. Some prefer to be better while others like not to.
We all have a few ways to communicate with each other. It is our responsibility to make use of that arsenal, or toolkit, as best we can. It is up to you to communicate effectively if the answer you receive isn’t what you expected. It is important to note that English doesn’t mean we communicate with each other.
In the Outcome Based Communication chapter, we will discuss communication. Act as though the statement were true. “The meaning of communication is the response you get”True. You will then be at the cause of effect and at the cause of it.
Another example is where communication (or lack thereof), causes unexpected responses. This is called “complex equivalence” where X=Y. It’s because he doesn’t want to buy flowers for me = He isn’t in love with me. His husband has no clue as to what he did wrong. (See more complex equivalent: “She isn’t talking to me=I was wrong”) (This may just be experience.
This is a common supposition about another person. “He doesn’t care if he wins or loses”, “Really, why’s that?” “Because he never loses his temper when he loses”. So, don’t lose heart = care. Tommy rot Although I am deeply concerned if it happens, that doesn’t make me lose my cool.
While we are on the topic, Bending your clubs around trees isn’t a sign that you don’t care about making errors or missing shots. It simply suggests a lack in control.
Self-talk is also affected by this attitude. We have already discussed the impact of your subconscious self-talk on your vision and beliefs. You can communicate with yourself to ensure that the ball does not go into the woods. If we are unable to communicate with ourselves, why should we worry about how others will react? These are five key attitudes
These attitudes are essential to a happy and successful life. They don’t need to be true. You just have to act as though they were true. Your golf game and your leadership skills will be vastly improved.
People can change anything = I can change my golf swing/habits/putting/handicap
They are not their behavior = they are me, I am them-self. Their behaviour is something else
Communication is what you get. I know exactly what I want.
Failure is not possible, but feedback. I love making mistakes because it helps me learn.
Respect another person’s view of the world = It’s important to me that every drive I take is perfect.
These attitudes can quickly bring about the greatest changes. These attitudes are used in our workshops to create powerful, emotive moments. There have been many people who, after years of relying on a false belief as a result a mental problem, find great relief. These attitudes allow you to take a new look at every aspect of your life. When you have these attitude, even though it seems impossible to overcome everything in your life can be changed.
Copyright (c), 2008 GainMore Advantage