I took a seat in my place of worship the other day – an ancient religion, which is likely similar to yours if it has one – and was greeted by a man wearing shorts and flip-flops.
He didn’t even smell, which is fair. He didn’t jog to the services. I also don’t believe he got there from his cardio work out. The flip-flops made me realize something incredible: He probably didn’t have any intention to work out.
This is a clear indication that he made this decision to worship the god of choice. The only thing that saved him, other than being present at the services, was the fact that his T-shirt did not have an advertisement for Hooters.
As a child, I remember dressing up to go to weekend services. You dressed up to attend many events. In some parts of the country little boys may wear jeans to school, but not to dinner – unless it was accompanied by a paper crown, or clown hat. If you went to a wedding and funeral, you would have worn a dark suit.
These were not standards.
After seeing a flip-flop man over the weekend I decided to go out for dinner with my client. There was an entire table of golf shirt-wearing men at that table. It was an expensive place.
It was so expensive that my July electric bill exceeded the cost of my tab. It was evening, so my client and me were dressed in suits. Maybe the golf shirt table had just returned from an unexpected day of playing the links. If so, they decided to risk the fury of the chef and show up dressed like Dockers ads circa 1997.
I think what I want to get across is that Americans are truly awful at dressing. It was all about listening, so there was a lot of people dressed as bums, hippies, or both. Madison Avenue and Wall Street had their own dress codes, however. However, these norms had been polyesterized and rubber-soled by time that they were passed down to Middle America.
America was the country that did the most fashion damage in men’s wear history by the 1970s. We are the ones who invented the worst of all garments, the leisure suit.
You don’t need a suit to go out, when you can wear jeans and a shirt during your leisure time. What does it mean to be leisurely wearing a two-piece outfit with matching turtlenecks or silky blouses? Take a look at that outfit. Close your eyes and take in that poufy-haired man, the gold chain, then reflect on the terror of these loafers.
Now, let’s fast forward. America is not the inventor of the track suit (or jogging suit), but it made it popular. In the 70s and 80s you can see the polyester material with the racing stripe, which was Adidas. Then came the version known as the windsuit. It was horrible. This style was not for everyone. It makes you look as if your butt is made of two Twinkies’ or two hams’ butts. Your chest seems like it is being supported by your gut. It’s amazing how America reinvents it every day. From Tony Soprano to the velour versions and even back to the racing stripe. USA.
I won’t even begin to talk about the version for women with text across their rear ends. Is there anyone who doesn’t love to see their back as a billboard.
These don’t quite fit the recent trend of pajama pants as pants for 10 years. A woman wore a black tank top with fuzzy pink pants and black skulls at the parent-teacher meeting of my son. Flip-flops were worn by her husband, as well as a T-shirt that said “I am a teacher” “I didn’t do it” written on it.
To put it simply, who wouldn’t?
Your clothing should not only cover your body. America must take responsibility for itself and not become a country of diaper-wearing, poncho-wearing barbarians. It would be a great idea, wouldn’t it?
Men should wear suits to all occasions, including dinner, funerals, and weddings. For the year, a dark-colored suit with a light wool fabric will suffice. You can also opt for linen and seersucker if you feel like spending a lot but still have the budget.
You can accessorize your suit with beautifully-tailored shirts made from high-quality cotton. Some silk ties are available in striking patterns. A pair of shoes that is not too bulky, but still looks traditional, would be a great choice.
Cufflinks are a great way to impress if you want to really make an impact. They can be worn with or without a suit. Consider adding initials to your pair of silver-colored cufflinks. A pair of enameled or semi-precious gemstones can be added to enhance your tie’s color.
While you are at it, don’t forget the basics of hygiene. While a haircut and shave might cost more today than two, the impact you make is priceless.