We did an inventory as the boat sank to the Caye Caulker Pier. Dancing palms, tick. Sun bleached beach, tick. Motto of the island “Go Slow”I painted a lazily on the signpost, which was stuck in the sand. I smiled at my accomplice in crime. It was paradise. We’d escaped…for now.
It wasn’t the plan to bob up and down on a small island in Belize, Caribbean Sea. The original plan was to fly into Belize, where we would experience an eco-adventure and then cross the Guatemalan border. We got too greedy and found ourselves still in Belize four days later. Eco-tours include jungle hikes, mountain biking, Mayan ruins, cave tubing and Jaguar spotting. Then, where would it all end? It was hot. It was time to find a quiet place for the next few days. A place where a man can relax on a quiet beach, think about England or any other country. After a series of discreet inquires, we discovered that there was only one hideaway and that only one man could assist us. This is the man we know only as. “The Marine Terminal ticket booth guy”.
The boat passes were paid in small unmarked bills. We climbed aboard the first ship bound for the Islands and then left behind the sands of adventure on the continent. We were not fooled by the beautiful blue waters of the coast. It is home to over one hundred seventy islands or cayes and the second-largest barrier reef in the world. We wouldn’t have it any other way. This area has been a magnet for travellers ever since Blackbeard’s Buccaneer crew toured these waters back around 1600. As we stood at the unassuming wharf watching our escape vessel leave dock, the captain offered some encouraging words. “Relax mon. You’re on Caye Caulker time now”.
Caye Caulker would have been Gilligan’s Big Apple if he had taken up real-estate development. The perfect escape spot is this idyllic island slip with its cluster of idyllically painted, uninhabitable beach hideaways and lots of palm trees, fishing boats, fisherman, divers huts, sand floors restaurants, and old salty sailors stomping up bars at eleven in the morning.
Caye Caulker has a crown of jewels: it is all about minimalist pleasures. It doesn’t have flashy nightclubs or high-speed traffic. Do you remember the slogan? Slow down. We accepted the mission and found a bungalow on quiet sand. After enjoying a variety of seafood dishes, we drank at a bar overlooking the Caribbean and reflected over drinks. In five seconds, you can indulge in this message.
We were soon in the “The” “no shoes, no shirt, no problem” “sarong, swimsuit, smile”We wore the appropriate dress and embraced our fellow castaways. The local mix of Creoles and Central Americans was not a threat to our plans for relaxation. We would have to watch out for the North American retired people who were speeding along in their rickety golf carts and sending children, dogs, and tourists fleeing the scene.
Three days of perfect sunshine saw us hiding behind cocktail umbrellas and lobster dinner menus. We wondered if there were any other calls for action. While we were concentrating on our own businesses over two tall Panty Rippers at Popeye’s Bar and Restaurant one night, the bartender revealed that a man came in to ask questions. “Did he know anyone who might like to explore the reef?” “Had he seen any tourists dance so badly to the reggae band they couldn’t possibly show their faces around the island?”Next morning we met a man to discuss a snorkelling excursion.
Although experienced divers would prefer Caye Amergris for its more interesting sites, Caye Caulker’s beautiful, calm corals made it an ideal place to learn.
The trip to the reef snorkelling was amazing, even though I had initially been disappointed that it wasn’t my opportunity to don a rubber bodysuit in public. As we looked at all the fish, eels and stunning corals, we gawked. Shark Ray Alley was the highlight of our three hour tour. Nurse sharks circled us from far away before coming closer to take a close look. Then, the Southern Ray Stingrays glided their wings across our bodies. They were both quite harmless, though they did seem a bit young for their first encounter.
For most of the day not one word was spoken. Mountain girl and me went to the waterfront, where we enjoyed the sun and looked through old magazines about Mexican celebrities. We did this to distract from the reality that the days of being a sloth had come to an end. Our plan was formulated back at our bungalow. Our leisure life was not going to be sacrificed. It was a night of partying. Caye Ambergris arrived and I was excited to have a birthday.
Caye Ambergris has the distinction of being the most developed, largest and most costly of all the Belizean Islands. It also offers a variety of luxury resorts, villas, homestays, and homes for rent. We checked into the Sun Breeze Beach Hotel in San Pedro for some luxury and pampering before our final stand. Although the resort-style swimming pool, Jacuzzi and massage studio were far more luxurious than the Gilliganisms at Caye Caulker’s, the spacious rooms and swanky outdoor restaurant with international cuisine was a vast improvement, the cost of the night was only USD125.
After being pampered, satiated, and fed in ways money cannot buy, we made our way to the view point above the hotel bar. We were able to enjoy one of the most stunning sunsets in the Caribbean while we slipped into the hammock. With a birthday drink in my hand and swinging back-and-forth, it was easy to see how far away we were from any office cubicle. After some contemplation, it was time to make my final charge of the night. We drank, laughed, and danced to embarrassing reggae until the early hours of the morning at Crazy Canucks Bar.
In the days that followed, we indulged in all manner of water sports at Caye Ambergris. It was here that you could go paragliding and dive among some of the best coral reefs on earth, as well as sailing around the island. How we feasted!
After our thirst for water adventure was satisfied, we ventured into the city to get on bikes and pedaled towards the far end of the island. Crossing a small river by man-pulling-rope-very-hard-powered ferry to the less populated north island, we cycled along remote dirt tracks lined with sweeping palm trees. The ride was leisurely along the long stretch of white squeaky sandy beach to the coast, as we emerged from the jungle. “money”End of town
On the north shore, you will find private villas on the beach and luxurious resorts. As I gazed intently at the For Sale sign, outside one particular hedonistic house, Evidently, the ex-owner wasn’t pleased with his cruiser motoring around coral reefs to dock outside his beach house. He was an entrepreneur and had used some sticks of dynamite in order to create a small driveway through the reef. He was sent a big enough fine by the Belize government to repay the Belize debt. Last seen in Cuba, he was paddling his canoe towards Cuba.
Further along, we came across Captain Morgan’s Retreat. This is where the original Temptation Island series was set. We were surrounded by the Mecca for televised drama and so many memories came back to us. Amber and Troy are seated under a palm tree talking about the global warming effects. Shawana abandons Gary and tells Chad that he had cheated on her. “are those things real?”It was that moment when I realized the true importance of everything in my life. I turned my attention to the ski bunny. Her smile looked almost like it had been cosmetically altered.
The last thing we wanted to do was paddle across the beach to town. It was the palm trees that were lazy, its ivory-white sands and aqua waters. There were friendly faces. And there’s the dolphin fountain, which splashed water onto Jesus from the pink Jehovah’s Witness house. It was a pleasant place to spend a few days for repeat adventure travelers.
Others have suggested that I live too many hours in fantasy and need to learn how reality works. Sometimes, I believe they are right. However, I think they are wrong sometimes.